Beyond Reason
by YanksLuver
Summary: During Robin’s surgery, Patrick visits the chapel to say a prayer for her and has a comforting conversation with his father.


-1**Title**: Beyond Reason  
**Author**: Steph   
**Rating**: PG

**Pairing**: Robin/Patrick, Noah/Patrick

**Category**: Drama/Romance  
**Disclaimer**: I do this out of a love for this couple. No infringement is intended.   
**Spoilers**: Nope.  
**Summary**: During Robin's surgery, Patrick visits the chapel to say a prayer for Robin and has a comforting conversation with his father.

**Note**: So, if you're like me (and I know you are), you wanted to see Patrick in that chapel, praying his pretty little heart out for Robin. You also wanted Noah to comfort his son in his time of need, instead of being nowhere in sight. Well, that's what fanfics are for! I wanted to get this out before today's episode, but I didn't finish it in time, so here it is now. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought. -Steph

**--- Beyond Reason: Part 1/1 --- **

Patrick stood in the doorway to the chapel. He'd been standing there for nearly ten minutes now. He couldn't quite rid himself of the feeling that he was an intruder. His legs feeling heavy, he finally crossed the threshold and sat down in the last pew.

He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. He rubbed at his eyes, which stung from the tears he waged a constant battle with.

Blowing out a breath, he raised his eyes to the ceiling. "I know I don't belong here, but I promised Robin." A tiny smile curled the corners of his mouth. "You probably hate people like me. We ignore your very existence until it suits us, until it seems as if you're all we have left. I have no right to ask anything of you, but I'm going to anyway."

Patrick leaned back in the pew and ran his hands nervously over his thighs. "You need to make sure she comes out of this okay. I never used to believe in destiny or miracles until I met Robin. But every time I look at her now, I believe. It was destiny that she literally walked into my life and a miracle that she found something in me worth loving. It's ironic, I guess. The first time I ever laid eyes on her, she said she needed a miracle and I was it. Turns out, she had it all wrong. She's my miracle."

Patrick bit at his lower lip, as he shook his head. "I know I don't deserve her. I've always known that. Sometimes I look at her and I realize that she could have any man she wants. She doesn't believe that, but she could. And yet she chose me. She never gave up on me when I gave her every reason to. So, I'm not going to give up on her either."

Patrick swallowed hard, his throat constricting. "Please, let her live. Let her live a long, healthy, happy life. A less selfish man than myself would probably add something about it being with or without me. But, the truth is, she's such a natural, vital part of my life now, like breathing. Something I need, something I can't live without. And something I will certainly not take for granted ever again."

Patrick exhaled and then ran his hands down his face. "So, like I said, I have no right to ask anything of you, but you brought her into my life and you let her get this far. Please, don't take her from me now."

Patrick heard footsteps behind him and lowered his head, roughly wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand and feeling embarrassed for allowing himself to be so vulnerable where anyone could witness it.

"I'm not sure how I knew to find you here," Noah said, as he slid into the pew beside his son.

Patrick shrugged, turning to him and offering a crooked smile. "You probably figured I was this desperate."

Noah chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, maybe I did."

"I promised Robin I would say a prayer," Patrick said.

Noah's eyes roamed around the chapel. "I used to go to the chapel everyday when your mother was sick in the hospital. She would ask me to say a prayer for her and light a candle. I always felt like I didn't belong."

Patrick nodded. "I know the feeling."

Noah's eyes took on a faraway look. "It must come with the profession, I suppose. That inability to believe in what you can't see. But your mother was different. She was raised a good Catholic school girl. And she believed."

Patrick shook his head. "But it couldn't save her," he replied softly.

Noah let out a sigh. "She said everyone has their time and she would accept hers whenever it came. I think her faith made accepting it a little easier, a little less frightening."

Patrick swallowed around the grapefruit-size lump in his throat, barely able to form the words festering in the darkest corners of his mind. "What if it's Robin's time?"

Noah's mouth dropped open slightly, as he met his son's eyes. He had never seen him look so broken, so lost, before. His voice seemed tiny and innocent. In that moment, he looked like the little boy who used to fear monsters and boogie men. Only this time, his fear was real and a few reassuring words from his father couldn't soothe him. But, as fathers do, Noah said them anyway.

"Robin wouldn't have made it all this way, Patrick, if it were her time. She would have died in that lobby. She will come back to you."

Patrick lowered his eyes to his hands. "You don't know that."

Noah shrugged. "You're right, I don't." He paused and then added softly, "But I believe it."

Patrick met his father's eyes. "Robin called me her hero."

Noah smiled and patted his son's hand. "You are her hero."

Patrick let out a bitter chuckle. "I'm not a hero. A hero has courage. I couldn't even face the results of my HIV test. I'm a coward."

"No, you're human. And my definition of a hero isn't someone who has no fear, but who performs a remarkable act in spite of it. You were scared out of your mind for Robin, Patrick. Yet you ran to that hotel and risked your life. You negotiated with a madman. You gave instructions over the phone for a surgery on the woman you love using office supplies. If that's not a hero, then I don't know what is."

Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. "You know what's amazing? Robin was about to go into surgery and she was worried about me. She asked me to take my HIV test again."

Noah nodded. "She wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

Patrick closed his eyes briefly, then opened them again. "In case she didn't make it, you mean. Because if I lost her, I'd probably never go through with it. "

"She loves you and she's scared for you."

"And I'm scared for her. I told her that when I thought I might lose her, I realized that living with HIV would be a blessing compared to living without her. I just kept thinking of all of those months that I spent worrying about how my life could change and, in an instant, it nearly did. But it had nothing to do with HIV. It just made me realize how I can't take anything for granted. Not one moment."

"Robin's going to come out of this just fine and you'll be able to be together again, Patrick."

Patrick raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head. "Sometimes I think back over the past year and I wonder how I got here. How did I get to be this man who could love a woman more than words could ever hope to convey? Who would have thought that I would be sitting in a chapel, begging God to let the woman I love live?" Patrick let out a breath. "I've always considered myself to be a reasonable, rational person. But a reasonable man doesn't run toward a building filled with men ready to kill him. My love for Robin defies explanation."

Noah smiled. "You know how your mother loved quotes? It used to drive me crazy. She would pull these quotes out of nowhere, whenever it suited her. She loved this one quote by Blaise Pascal. She said it to me every time I did something foolish in the name of love. She'd say, 'Love has reasons which reason cannot understand'."

Patrick nodded. "I remember hearing her say that. I never truly understood what it meant until Robin."

Noah put his arm around his son's shoulders. "You see, son, love - true, deep, abiding love - isn't reasonable. It isn't rational. It's inexplicable. It's all-consuming. And that's what makes it so rare. That's what makes it so wonderful. That's what makes it something worth fighting for."

Patrick smiled. "And it makes you promise things, like you'll paint the kitchen a hideous color."

Noah laughed and nodded. "That's right. You'll do anything for that person. I once took a ballroom dancing class for your mother."

Patrick chuckled and shook his head. "There's gotta be a line drawn somewhere, Dad."

Noah patted his son's shoulder and shook his head, a grin upon his lips. "Not when it comes to love. Trust me."

Patrick let out a good-natured groan.

His expression then grew abruptly serious, as he met his father's eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" Noah asked, his brow furrowed.

"For being here," Patrick replied softly.

Noah shrugged his shoulders as he blinked back sudden tears. "I figured it was about time." He paused and then said, "How about we light two candles? I'll light one for your mother and you light one for Robin."

Patrick nodded. "I'd like that."

The two men stood and walked to the front of the chapel. They knelt down in front of the candles and said silent, private prayers. Then they each lit a candle for the women they loved beyond reason.

----------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. -Steph


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